Celebrities all over America are waking up to a cold new dawn of political and social insignificance.

Because, guess what? Trump’s resounding victory at the ballot box has proved that, despite their unshakeable belief in their own importance, their opinions really don’t matter.

Nobody cares! Nobody gives a jot what these Lefty luvvies think about politics, who they voted for or how desperately they wanted Americans to vote for Kamala, just like them.

It’s game over for the condescenti – those hubristic, Democrat-loving elites of Hollywood and beyond. To their great surprise they have realised that their power over the people is non-existent, their influence extinct.

On the breakfast menu at the Dodo Diner today, stars are being force-fed egg-on-face and a big, hot cup of shut-the-hell-up. And it just couldn’t be more delicious to watch.

Oprah Winfrey introduces Kamala Harris on stage at a campaign rally in Philadelphia earlier this week

Take Lady Gaga, who performed at the Kamala Harris rally in Pennsylvania earlier this week. Has Gaga gone, well, gaga? Sitting at the piano on stage, she had the virtuous air of someone doing Important Work.

She waffled on about women. Women not having a voice. Women having a voice. Women supporting men. Eh? I wasn’t quite following her theme, but never mind.

‘I cast my vote for someone who will be a president for all Americans. And now Pennsylvania, it’s your turn,’ she bellowed, pointing at the audience. ‘Let’s make sure all your voices are heard.’

Pennsylvania listened. And Pennsylvania went out and voted for Trump.

Can you blame them? At the same rally, voters had to suffer a lecture from pious St Oprah of Winfrey. ‘I know that some of you are feeling inconsequential, but nothing could be further from the truth,’ she told the little people.

Hark at this billionaire megastar, whose property empire alone is worth more than £500 million and who lives behind high walls on a 70-acre Montecito estate.

The two issues that Americans really cared about in this election – border security and the economy – barely touch the sides of out-of-touch Oprah’s luxuriously upholstered world. But even that didn’t stop her.

‘I feel we are on the edge of something big,’ she predicted.

Trump’s thumping win leaves Oprah and the gang publicly humbled and, quite honestly, they deserve the humiliation, writes Jan Moir

We certainly were. A massive popular vote lead for Trump, plus control of the Senate and the House, along with gains in almost every demographic and a victory that some have called a landslide. It was certainly a devastating loss for the Democrats.

Trump’s thumping win leaves Oprah and the gang publicly humbled and, quite honestly, they deserve the humiliation.

Perhaps they thought they were being patriotic, but they simply came across as patronising. They were do-as-I-say demagogues who were convinced they knew best. They didn’t think twice about trying to foist Kamala Harris – a mediocre politician with a lacklustre campaign and no compelling message – on to the public.

Their smug assumption that Trump is such a monster that voters would overlook the Dems’ ineffectual response to hot-button issues such as inflation and immigration proved fatal.

What mattered to people was not so much abortion rights – the only issue the Democrats had in their pocket – but the economy and security.

These devout Democrats – the soured crème de la crème of Hollywood liberals – treated the American electorate like idiots, and they paid the price.

‘Everybody has the right to vote and everybody has to show up and do it,’ said actor Tom Hanks, kindly explaining the concept of democracy to his millions of fellow Americans. ‘And if you don’t, you don’t get to complain and you get the government you deserve.’ Thanks Mr Hanks! More of the same pious sermons came from Beyonce, Robert De Niro and ever-earnest George Clooney.

Let’s include Pink, J.Lo, Usher, Barbra Streisand and John Legend. Don’t forget Whoopi, Meryl and Miley.

In Detroit, a mournful Jon Bon Jovi with a mum hairdo sang a slow version of Living On A Prayer. Will.i.am appeared on a stage to sing some weepy dirge (‘Mama, what’s wrong with America?’) while Katy Perry was in blue sequins and bossily telling voters ‘we are almost there’ – even though we very much were not.

Christina Aguilera was in Las Vegas in thigh-high boots and shorts, telling the people to ‘vote for freedom’; Bruce Springsteen was down in Georgia, singing Dancing In The Dark and calling Trump a ‘tyrant’ who did not understand America. Georgia voted for Trump despite this.

It was all completely hilarious. It couldn’t have been funnier if Bette Midler had gone out and promised to drink drain cleaner if Trump got elected, then deleted her social media accounts when he won. Which is exactly what she did.

Political endorsements by celebrities are a big deal in America – much more so than in the UK. Over there, everyone who is anyone delights in nailing their colours – blue for the Democrats, almost always – to the mast.

Yet each time a celebrity comes out for a politician, it leaves me with the curdled suspicion the move benefits the star more than the politician being endorsed. Could hapless Kamala be that never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you, as Taylor Swift once sang?

Taylor came out for Kamala, like almost every other celebrity you can name. In the face of such a bitter defeat, you have to wonder if they will ever do so again.

For in the end, their opinions did not matter and their involvement revealed only how disconnected they are from the reality of life for the majority of Americans.

It was not abortion rights that most concerned the electorate. What really mattered to them was the illegal immigration issue, the dollar in their pocket and the price of gas at the pumps.

And they were the ones asking the powers that be whether they were the powers that ought to be. Something for the condescenti to think about, next time round.

Now we’ll never know what befell poor Suzy

John Cannan is dead. Now we will never know what happened to Suzy Lamplugh. The young estate agent went missing in west London in July 1986 and her body has never been found – nor has anyone ever been charged with her disappearance. 

It is a mystery that haunted – and still haunts – my generation of women. Cannan was the prime suspect, but the police could never build a case against him, and he always denied any involvement. 

Even a recent cold-case review failed to turn up any fresh leads. At the time of his death Cannan was in jail, serving a minimum 35-year term for the 1987 murder of Shirley Banks in Bristol. 

Poor Suzy. And sympathy for her family, who will never have closure or any answers about what terrible fate befell her.

Tough, smart, outspoken and an old-fashioned conviction politician, Kemi Badenoch is the best thing to happen to the Conservative Party for years.

She is a politician I can believe in and respect – a beast that is rarer than the unicorn in the Houses of Parliament.

Go, Kemi! And please don’t let me down, like every other party leader for the last decade at least.

Is it fair to class all drunken sex as rape? 

Emily Atack has made a documentary about being sexually harassed online. It is the grisly lot of Emily, and many young women like her, that they must somehow cope with the unwanted sexual attentions of depraved men haunting their social media accounts. 

One factor she explores is the fact that the blame for this uninvited interest is often unfairly placed on the victims. Emily has also joined a campaign about sexual consent – and the promotion of a clearer yes or no to the question of sex. 

Emily Atack has made a documentary about being sexually harassed online

The actress said that she had woken up after drunken sexual encounters, hating herself. That is sad and regrettable – but is it fair to class all drunken sexual encounters as rape? Some of them most certainly are. 

But surely women must also take responsibility for their own behaviour, and not get so drunk that they cannot consent (or not) to sex 

Has anyone checked in on Emily Maitlis yet? Our girl in the tragic diamante Martini-glass earrings had an election night that was shaky and not stirring. At all.

After heated rows with anyone airing even a flicker of a vaguely pro-Trump view on her C4 show, an increasingly furious Emily swore – is ‘bats**t’ really swearing, though? – and vanished into the night, never to be heard in the election studio again.

Former BBC journalist and Newsnight star Emily Maitlis 

She was last seen in central London, handbagging random old ladies who failed to agree with her Leftist world view.

I much preferred Emily when she was on the BBC and had to keep her feelings hidden and her opinions to herself. Didn’t we all!