On Tuesday night, Tulisa Contostavlos sparked a conversation among campmates on I’m a Celebrity when she came out as demisexual and revealed that she had been celibate for three years.

Being demisexual means experiencing sexual feelings for someone only after developing an emotional relationship. 

The 36-year-old N-Dubz star admitted that the thought of being with someone in a sexual way makes her feel ‘physically sick’ as she explained what her sexuality looks like in practice.

She said: ‘No I’ve only done Raya [celebrity dating app]. I’m not really a dater, even though I’ve been on there, I’ve never gone on an actual date with anyone on there… I’m proper guarded.’

She added: ‘I feel like I’m demisexual, I need to have a really close emotional bond with someone.’

But she is not the only person who feels this way, as thousands of people worldwide deem themselves to be demisexual, including stars like Tulisa and pop sensation Chappell Roan.

Though it has been a concept that some people have followed for a long time, only in recent years has the term demisexual been coined for the sexuality type as people on social media open up about feeling the same way.

As people gradually become more fluid with their sexuality, more and more people are adopting a demisexual identity in their love and sex lives.

Journalist Samantha Rea, 42, who lives in west London, used to have sex ‘two or three times a day’ – but said she will only sleep with someone if she feels a strong bond between them.

She told FEMAIL: ‘Like Tulisa, I only want to have sex with someone I have a genuine connection with. Sex is intimate. You’re letting someone into your home, your bed, your body – why would you do that with someone you don’t know and trust?

‘It’s not that I have a low sex drive. In my last relationship, we had sex two or three times a day. 

‘We’d nip upstairs between Zoom calls, and once when some stockings arrived in the post, we had a quick bonk before the cleaner arrived.’

Samantha ended things with her partner and although she’s dated people since, she has not slept with anyone in years. 

‘Last time I went for a smear test, the doctor asked when I’d last had sex, and I honestly couldn’t remember if it was one year or two,’ she said.

‘I hadn’t even thought about it, because there was nobody in particular that I’d wanted to have sex with.’

Samantha said that she will only have sex with someone that she has feelings for, or who equally has feelings for her.

But it hasn’t been easy, as one of her dates ended up reacting badly after she refused to have sex with him.

She said: ‘One guy sulked when I wouldn’t go home with him after a third date, but like Tulisa, I’m a slow burner, and that was just too soon for me.

‘The thought of rutting with a random man is just repellent. I don’t even like it when men post naked torso pictures on dating apps. 

‘It would be one thing if I already adored him, but I have no interest in seeing flabby flesh on a stranger who misguidedly thinks he’s fit.’

Samantha added that although she relates to how Tulisa feels, she does not consider herself to be ‘demisexual’. 

She said: ‘Tulisa describes herself as ‘demisexual’ and apparently this is a ‘sexual orientation’ now. While I relate to everything Tulisa described, I don’t identify as ‘demisexual’. I don’t see it as a sexual orientation and I don’t think it deserves a label.

‘Sex is a natural part of a relationship and wanting a connection with your sexual partner is perfectly normal – it actually just means you value yourself.’ 

Author Toni Tone, 35, spoke about demisexuality on on Paul Brunson’s podcast ‘We Need To Talk’.

The Celebs Go Dating star asked Toni what demisexuality meant in her words, and she replied: ‘A lot of people experience sexual attraction off the bat. They can be attracted to someone through a room.

‘I can acknowledge attractive men but there is absolutely nothing in me that feels any type of sexual desire or arousal for them in any way.’

‘That only comes after I have developed an emotional connection to them based on who they are and their character.’

Toni said she has never had a one night stand, nor has she kissed a random person in a club. 

She added: ‘My girlfriends will see a guy and be like ‘Oh, he can get some’ and I’m like no, nobody can get anything unless I know them.’  

Author Kate Morris, 58, from west London, says Tulisa’s description of what it means to be demisexual also resonated with her. 

She said: ‘I am not the kind of person to be attracted to a man just because he has bulging biceps and a good jaw. There is nothing sexy or interesting about that for me. 

‘There has to be a serious emotional connection before I would even consider a sexual relationship. I used to love the build-up to an actual relationship: the lunch date, a walk in the park. 

‘Yearning for someone and being excited to meet them for a date is far sexier than a one night stand – not that I have ever had one for all the above reasons.’

Kate said she first interacted with her husband over the phone, when they were chatting in a small group of people travelling to Yemen. 

She said he was feeling down during their call and added that she found his ability to be open and honest refreshing. This led to Kate becoming interested in him before meeting him in person.

She said: ‘We got to know each during the weeks we travelled on a mini bus across a vast desert. We shared a sense of humour and laughed a great deal. 

‘When I became very ill with gastroenteritis on the trip, he found help and looked after me. But it was several months later that we actually got together.’

She added: ‘So when Tulisa explained on I’m A Celeb ‘that she is demisexual, I related. I had no idea there was a word for someone who prefers a deep emotional connection before embarking on a relationship but that’s definitely me.’

Tulisa is not the only celebrity who feels this way, as pop sensation Chappell Roan has also said that she is demisexual and cannot be intimate with people without developing a deep connection with them first.

In an interview last year with Ashley Gavin on the We’re Having Gay Sex podcast, Chappell – whose real name is Kayleigh Rose Amstutz – said she hasn’t slept with ‘many people’.

The 26-year-old said: ‘I’m not super turned on by a [random person]. I’m pretty turned off if someone is like coming really hard onto me, I think it’s called demisexual? When you have to have to have a really foundational relationship with them and then you start getting feelings. I’m very much like that.

‘I felt that [feeling] of being in love with a girl for the first time last year and it was stronger than anything I’ve ever felt for a man.

‘I was just like wow, a man has never made me feel this way or turned me on this way sexually or anything.

The Pink Pony Club singer revealed that she has only slept with four people in her life during the podcast. 

Chappell added: ‘I think the celibacy thing has to do more so with happiness than finding out my sexuality because at the end of the day, sexuality is fine but happiness… what are you going to do with your sexuality if you’re not happy?’

But the Hot To Go star said she doesn’t like being demisexual and instead wished she ‘liked having flings’.

She added that the thought of having a one-night stand gives her ‘anxiety’.

Chappell – who was wearing an I heart Jesus cap – said: ‘I think I still have that Christian guilt vibe about sex. I wish I could have flings and hook up with girls and it would just be a fun thing, but it’s not for me.’

Sweet, from Atlanta, said they thought they were asexual until 19 years old and met someone they became interested in. Sweet was a little confused by their feelings but found out that they were demisexual after watching a YouTube clip.

The 29-year-old receptionist said: ‘I’ve been celibate and not dating for five years. People think that those who are demi have ‘high standards’ and I can tell you that is not the case. 

‘We are just attracted to emotional connection and if you have a dysfunctional way of connecting to people, you attract the wrong kind of partner.

‘I’ve been taking time to focus on myself and heal from a lot of things. But I will say I just recently started going on dates again. Specifically with women only.’

Sweet said that being intimate with someone who is demisexual means that you have to ‘continuously search for connection in the relationship’.

They added: ‘If you are lazy in your approach to relationships or don’t value consistent quality time and connection, your sexual intimacy will suffer. 

‘Because your partner will become less attracted to you. Once I’ve reached that kind of intimacy with someone though, I’m locked in.’

Sweet said that they have dated men in the past, adding that some have been very ‘gross’ when it comes to intimacy and have encountered some that feel as though they are ‘entitled’ to sex.

They said: ‘Even small things like pet names, and hand holding, touching, kissing – I’m way slower to do these things because I experience repulsion to forced or quickened intimacy. And many men have a transactional approach to dating and women.’

Londoner Nairn, who is gay, said he doesn’t fit the ‘exact mould ‘of demisexuality but  doesn’t participate in having casual sex.

He said: ‘I have to be dating someone a bit longer to feel like sex is something that’s appropriate to do.

‘I still have attraction, but I withhold until further down the line just because I see it as being respectful to myself by not offering myself up to any guy that buys me a drink.

‘I believe demisexuals just don’t feel anything until emotional connections are formed whereas I just choose to not participate until a few dates down the line, where I feel like that person has invested in me a bit more.

‘Hyper-sexuality within the gay community is increasingly common these days and I did find when I was dating there were many men who expected intimacy after the first date or sometimes even before one. When being clear about my intentions from the beginning around those who are also open to waiting too I’ve been pretty successful.’

Nairn said that waiting to have sex with someone you have more of a connection with feels more ‘rewarding’. 

He added: I think those who are disheartened by what seems like the end of traditional dating and trends of hype-sexuality shouldn’t give up. 

‘There are plenty of people I’ve had conversations with who still believe in getting to know a person before taking that step.’

Judi Love spoke about demisexuality on Loose Women today and opened up about being celibate for several years.   

The television star and comedian said: ‘It’s more that you need that emotional stimulation for the relationship to go anywhere.

‘I was celibate several times, I did three and a half years of celibacy and then another two and a half years. I would probably say I am a demisexual,’ she said.

Judi had a relationship a decade ago and said she felt ‘really intoxicated’ by this person. But after it ended, she did not want to sleep with anyone else until she felt that with someone again.

‘So I chose and made the decision to be celibate,’ she explained. 

‘There were people that I met at the time that I definitely wanted to rip their clothes off, but I stuck to my guns until there was someone who really deserved the emotional me.

‘I don’t think I missed out because those people didn’t want to stay around, and I need that emotional connection to feel like it can go any further.’

In 2017, Kelly Clarkson revealed that she thought she was asexual, which means you no sexual attraction towards any gender, until she met her husband.

The Stronger singer made the comment during a SiriusXM show in New York City and said that her then-partner, Brandon Blackstock, was the first person who helped her understand sexual attraction.

Kelly said at the time: ‘This isn’t a downer to anybody I dated before him, but I’m just going to be real: I never felt like, honesty, sexually attracted to anybody before him.

‘And I’m not downing my exes. You know, everybody’s different. But there was something about him.’

‘I honestly thought I was asexual – I’d never been turned on like that in my whole life.

‘I was like, ‘Oh that’s that feeling… okay! That’s what they were talking about in Waiting to Exhale.’ I just got it. I just didn’t have a clue.’

The couple finalised their divorce in 2022, with Kelly noting that ‘irreconcilable differences’ had caused their marriage to ‘irretrievably break down’.